Golden Apple

Once a couple withheld an invitation
From Eris due to Her bad reputation
They wanted to host a quiet affair
And thought it best if She weren’t there

The Goddess of Discord took great offense
Tired of always being barred from events
Her social calendar in complete disarray
With nothing at all to do on that day

So, Eris hatched a scheme to incite
The most mythically epic cat-scratch fight
Over which Goddess reigned supreme
Now, this might seem rather extreme
But when She was done and through
We’d all get an etiquette lesson or two

Now, Paris of Troy was given his pick of bribes
Wisdom or power or the most winsome bride
Well, the prize, surprise, fell to his vanity
For Paris didn’t want to be wise or mighty

But Helen came with a few strings attached
So a king brought an army to fetch her back
Seemed the prince’s fiancée was previously engaged
To a powerful gangster well-known for his rage

It’s a pretty petty reason to start a war
But every Golden Apple has a worm in the core
So better set a plate for Eris at your soirée
For She’s bound to be there either way