The Ride of Our Lives

Incubating entities and emerging embryos, blastocysts of all evolutionary stages, step up, step up! Fall into a single-file line at the turnstile to incarnation.

This is the adventure you’ve been waiting for, since before you can remember, the experience of a lifetime! An eye-opening spectacle, a breathtaking world of whirling scents and sounds and lights.

Gather your breath in anticipation, for you are about to enter a rarified atmosphere! Welcome to the mysterious wonders of the Corporeal Carnival, the Festival of Flesh.

Step up, and claim a seat on the ride of your lives, the roller-coaster of fate, climbing and plunging, in a cyclical loop-de-loop of alternating flirtations with gravity and elevation.

Come, try your hands at innumerable diversions, wild games of chance and exacting tests of skill, a plethora of thrilling ways for your boredom to be killed, your calendar to be filled, and your hopes to be spilled.

Spin like record getting into the groove at the Gyroscape Theme Park, where you must be “this” high to get in.

Awaken, and fix your gaze of fascination upon a maze of manifest imagination, hailing from every hyperbolic curve of culture, an archetype for every occasion.

It’s a marketplace of ideas and ideologies, chock-full of barkers all hawking the latest flavors of inner awareness. A bargain, you’ll find, at twice the price.

Speaking of price. No such thing as a free launch. Naturally, you’ll need some tickets to access the tantalizing attractions. Folding paper, legal tender, ornate and officially issued by the green machine.

Each numbered denomination is adorned with a portrait of some powerful dead muck-a-muck, whose legend you will soon learn in school, and whose truth you may never know.

Marvel as these tickets transform, magically, before your very eyes, into opulent feasts; into elegant lodging and fine entertainment, fueling exotic, Quixotic quests and providing the raw material for your dreams.

Tickets, omnipotent tickets, your keys to unlock the myriad doors to Aporia. Step up, now, and claim your birthright!

Once inside, some few of you are due to inherit an unearned supply of these tickets, and to cruise the Carnival without a care. Be sure to tip generously! Genero City is the “Capital” of Dough Nation, dontcha know?

Others, the more common but less fortunate of you, will land among the dispossessed masses of have-nots. You’ll have to scrape by, on your wits or elbow grease. Poor you! Luck of the draw.

Never fear! You can sell yourself by the hour in order to obtain more tickets. Someone must serve and prepare these opulent feasts. Someone must tend the box office and erect the big tops. Someone must turn the wrenches on the gears of progress.

You’ll labor your days away, so that your betters can better enjoy their adventures. Maybe you’ll pursue that elusive big break, as you perform acrobatic acts of athletics or artistry in the gladiator pits of the entertainment industry.

Maybe you’ll settle for a weak, bi-weekly reality check, or hustle into the fast lane of shell games. Maybe you’ll pursue higher education and train for a respected profession, such as clowning or medicine. So many options!

Of course, if all else fails, you can always grab a shovel and join the brave crews assigned to tackle the voluminous piles of bullshit, horseshit, elephant and donkey dung which accumulate wherever politicians congregate.

So bid farewell to the bubble of suspended animation, and prepare to venture into the revolutionary landscape of being and becoming, where the time is always now, and the location is forever here.

First you’ll be shot down the Tunnel of Love, where the racing current will deliver you to the slippery croupier spinning the wheel of Existential Roulette. The odds are about a hundred million to one against anyone winning the life lottery. No second chances! Sorry.

So step up, and pass through the cervical portal, to be plunged headlong into a whirled world made of motion itself, a rotating carousel of orbiting bodies. Good luck! Your name is {Insert Name Here}.

Who knows what awaits on the other side of that gate? Whatever you do, don’t hesitate!